siDz | SysStream

mira 91: x ar
mira 91: kedua
mira 91: ade kakak,adek laki n adek pompuan
mira 91: tapi satu je xde
mira 91: abang
mira 91: hehe
mira 91: kalau x da lengkap
SysStream: hehe
SysStream: ecehh
SysStream: akak tu dah kerja ke?
mira 91: awk je la jadi abang sy
mira 91: huhu
mira 91: owh..akak still blaja
mira 91: kat unisel
mira 91: nak kenal???


And I stopped the conversation there. Invisibl'd myself on YM sampaila she logoff'd her YM.


I mean, dear blog, what should I do?

I have so much things to blog, but I should be sleeping right now. Some yawning (thx to CJL) are in place, waiting for further commands.

But, aah. My hands are tied. There's mess all over my bed.


Oh yea by the way. Today's Hari Raya Aidiladha.

I found nothing special about this so-called special day except the revival of ketupat season. Yeah, I agree. I ate tons of ketupats today. No, no such thing as a nasi consumed today.

(but literally ketupat WAS a nasi, i mean, rice)

So, here I go. I hate wearing the full Baju Melayu set, looks so everyone-else'-ish. So I took my sparkling orange baju melayu and wore it, plus a nice black pants. See? A brief observation on the mirror reveals that the pants blends nicely to the atmosphere.

Afternoon: Look who's here? Its the rain!.
Well, the rain successfully infiltrates my consciousness, taking my body to a temporary halt, as in, sleep.


Well, today's conclusion was:

Sleep is considered ultimately fun.
Ketupats can make my stomach work very hard.
I've finally watched the all of the latest South Park season.
Malays are totally morons.

Malays are total morons?. I wish the Subuh's prayer can be as much jemaah as Solat Jumaat. They begin to realize that sunat prayers are more important than solat wajib. Aaah, Malays will totally fail. That includes me, if I'm not mistaken. Changes are A LOT said than done, thanks to government and every UMNO's general meetings.

"Bangsa Melayu perlu tabah atas sesuatu".. and all that stuffs. Isn't that pathetically stupid?. It IS a huge invisible slap on Malays without realizing it, because we've been blinded.

Face it, without any drastic change, Malays will fail at this rate.

And yet, today reminds me of a work that I've been evading it for a very long time. Procrastination-wise, thanks for your short visit. And hell yeah, what should I do?.



Then I begin to realize that I can't depend on someone that much, thanks to the discomfort zone within me and Raihan.

And then I had some trouble with Nadiah.
And then I had some trouble with my Pentium D chipset.
And then I had some trouble with my budget.
And then I had some trouble with Caroline.. again, for the love of god.
And then I had some trouble with ....

Most importantly, I had some problems with my health lately.



I tried to contact Raihan, but fails.

You know what? I began to realize that after all things I took risk because of the name 'friends', I couldn't take care of myself.

I began to BE very alone in all stuffs. I had to take it all myself.

That's super drastic, but I had to. What other choices I have in my life?. You see Siddiq, screw you. You're very alone. No one will help you. No one will actually symphatize you for what you done.



Aaah, psychological impact hurts deeply.
No one knows.







So that's it. there's lots of things I would share in this last post before I fled to nothingness.

I'm planning on buying and donating two PCs, one for Kak Dah because of her family's need vs. her income and the PRS's. Costs me for around RM3K.

And.

I will be offline.
Thanks.





































Oh yea BTW, this is my last post of this year, I swear for the love of god.

Note to myself:
"You think they rate us just for looks so they can take personality into account."
Who am I referring to? Girls.

At least Kak Dah didnt solve the problem, but she do help in clearing all sorts of unsolved question marks.

Thanks alot.

So, tomorrow is the big day. KLCC here I come. The place where all the things start'd, should be the place where it ends.

We are witnessing the decline of an empire.





Oh yea lol I cried a lil' bit for a moment after the session was over. Luckily no one saw me.

The truth hurts. Seriously. What happens if you eventually found the truth about someone who stabs you repeatedly at the back, and at that time, you dont have any clue about that, because you trust the person so much.




The cheque is scheduled to be banked in by tomorrow. Should be.

I have 6 unread messages, 5 misscalls.

Latest events proves to me that some girls are sarcastically stupid as hell. Yes, I'm looking at you, college students.

I dont have no one to discuss on this matter. If this keeps going, maybe I should stop blogging altogether.

I juz gave my friends an interesting idea about an improvement for the college. They are planning for a proposal for it. At least there are things going on while I'm not around.

Tonight is the MU vs AS Roma game. And I will miss it. Tomorrow got work lah~..

My body's deteriorating. This evening I had a very awful pening.






Sorry about the words, but these are polemic. I'm done.






Oh no, I'm starting to termenung about this prob.













But still, the truth hurts.

Could you believe?

Today's cuti. I came to college and realized that I've been accused for having thoughts of stealing someone away from her partner.

Sounds simple, but its a very long story indeed.

What I just wanted to say is: I just wanted to play the chess suka2, there's nothing to do with her. I repeat, nothing. Now the girls are spreading the news to random people.

I met her today, and said to her:
"I'm very, very disappointed about the news today"

Then I took a book and immediately ran away from her. Apa dia nak fikir, biarlah. I just wanted to put a big signboard in her head saying that I'm not involved in any of it.



Aah, my problems are getting stacked up.

Yesterday: Siti
Today: her.



But the good news is, I'm gonna make a move tomorrow, hoping for that trouble to settle. I really hoped that Kak Dah will assist me tomorrow, pretty please.

The good point is, if all things are going well as planned for tomorrow, it'll make a huge positive impact on my life afterwards :).


But still, its a 1:2 possibility.

Harini geram sgt, tak tahu kenapa. Gerammm sgt..

Dahla harini dpt banyak sgt calls. Bayangkanlah, org yg lain dpt 30-40 calls, hari ni aku dpt 50+ calls. Dahla ramai nak komplen. Banyak sgt benda nak kena escalate. Banyak sgt beban dlm kepala ni.. Sampai ke cafe pon patah balik, pening sgt. Tak tahu apa nak makan.

Arini aku dpt check. Yela, diorang just bagi check je. Lutut mereka la. Bila la masanye aku nak gi bank utk bank in check tu. Masa aku kerja, masa tula Maybank bukak. Habis kerja je Maybank dah tutup.

Dahla tadi masa aku tgh nak pinjam CardPac, aku lupa nak letak ACW. Call masuk masa tu, dibiarkan je. Memang silap aku la, so I cant blame anyone.

Pastu, Caroline lak ajak keluar. Petang2 tu, aku ingatkan semuanya ok. Aku pandang luar, macam takde paper yg berlaku. I mean, takde hujan la. Sekali kat dlm lif, terpandang keadaan kat luar, fuhhHHH!!. Hujan lebat beb!. Kalau boleh tolak pelawaan Caroline tu takpela, dia bagi msg.. "sid..bleh kita jumpa? crol tunggu kat tempat biasa.. sorry bateri crol weak ni.. bye". Short notice kan? Mana tak geramnye aku. Kalau boleh reply balik kat dia yg aku malas nak kuar, dan kat luar tu tgh hujan, kan senang. Takyah la nyusahkan aku. Geram tul aku kat dia.

And there it began. Perjalanan aku ke KL diselaputi atmosfera hujan yang sangat mengganggu fizikal, mentally dan comfortness aku kat atas moto. Dahla ada headset dlm beg aku, basah kuyup. Mahal headset tu, RM1k plus. Malas nak tengok dah benda tu, kalau dah basah, basahlah. Kun fayakun?.

Sampai je kat simpang bkt bintang, aku dibazirkan masa dibawah naungan hujan selama lebih dari 5 minit semata2 kerana polis. Dia kasi lane dari KL lalu bkn main lama lagi. Moto2 kat sebelah tu dah rev2 dah, tak sabar dah. Rasa mcm nak ketuk kepala polis tu dgn hammer besi, kasi sedar yg semua org tgh basah kuyup kat sinii. Dahla masa tu aku lapar sgt + sakit perut. Memang geram tul aku dgn polis tu.

Sampai je KL, sweater aku basah, baju hujan aku basah, seluar aku basah. Takpe, redah je. Sampai2 je, aku pandang serious je dgn Carol. Carol tu boleh lak tersenyum2. Jumpa2 je dia, aku ckp "1st, kita kena cari tandas". Senyum lagi dia. Pelik gila.

Tula, sepanjang tadi aku serious je dgn dia. Aku tak marahkan dia (no, no way la), aku geram dgn the condition.

Pastu, aku balik2 je, Raihan msg aku. Dia bgtau yg dia ada kat meeting room, tgh ada meeting, kena dok depan. Hehe.. so aku bukak PC, aku tulis kat dia yg aku takde kredit nak balas.

Pastu Carol lak kacau. Dia suruh aku signupkan dia email Yahoo baru. Aku dahla sangat malas, sangat letih, sangat tension, sangat demam, terpaksa buat gak utk dia.




Aku tak tahu, tapi aku sedar yg aku terlena masa tu.



Aku bangun balik pkl 1.30 pagi, tiba2 teringat yg aku ada hantar msg kat Raihan. Terus bukak router, bukak monitor, sign in pidgin, there!. Kak Raihan still ada kat sana. So, aku borakla dgn dia kejap.

Aku tak tahu last2 kitorang mcm gaduh. Yela, dia tanya kat aku kenapa semacam je ni. Aku ckpla aku tension. Pastu dia boleh lak fikir semacam. Fikir yg aku ni mmg tension dgn dia. Aku pon geram tul, aku terus tulis line terakhir, pastu tutup PC. Aku harap sgt dia faham keadaan aku hari ni. X pernah pon fikir yg masalah dia buat aku tension, cuma aku je yg tension sebab diri aku, bkn sebab masalah dia. X pernah tension sebab masalah dia.

Aku mmg bebetul ikhlas nak tolong dia as much as I can, tapi kalau dia dah fikir yg aku ni membebankan dia, up to her la. Selama ni aku tak pernah fikir yg dia bebankan hidup aku.

Kalaulah dia faham masalah aku harini, kan senang.. Takkanla benda tu pon dah terasa, aku sabar je dgn karenah dia dari dulu, tak pernah aku tulis kat dia yg aku 'sakit hati' atas beberapa hal. No, walaupun benda tu kecik mana pon. Aku tak pernah fikir yg masalah dia bebankan hidup aku.







Harini aku hadapi cabaran aku sorang2 je, takde siapa yg aku boleh share masalah ni. Nak tido pon rasa sakit hati.

Tapi, in the end of the day, aku baru perasan yg aku.. sabar atas semua ni.

In the end of the day gak, aku sedar Siti tu siapa. dia still bestfriend aku, walau apa pon benda yg berlaku. Syg sgt kat dia. Just, kali ni, aku rasa aku tak buat salah. Kalau dia rasa aku salah, so be it.

Psl Caroline tu, aku takleh nak buat apa. Dah dia mmg camtu.

Psl hujan, mmg aku dah check forecast utk minggu ni, memang hujan memanjang je KL ni tetiap petang.

Psl kerja, maybe aku ni still baru, so at the same time kena belajar. Memang banyak benda nak kena handle dlm satu masa. So, takde masalah la aku nampak kat situ.







Setiap benda yg aku harungi harini semuanya understandable. Tapi seriously, rasa mcm nak ambik hammer ketuk je kepala polis tadi. Kasi faham yg ramai lagi kat sini yg basah kuyup pakcik oooiiii..

Oh wait.

I don't want to blog now. My back, aarhhhh..

Instead, I will amuse u guys with funny pictures I stumbled upon the Internet.

Lets start with inspirational posters. You can click the pictures for larger view.










That's it. Bored and lazy.

Define semantic.

One of the definition reflects a change, significant, symptomatic meaning, something like that.

Now comes the question: Did you apply this word in your life?




Now lets take a look at Friendster, as an example. Lets not look at myspace, its already deteriorating. Observe the shoutouts, the bulletin boards, specificly the title, how peoples gave their profile name, their so-called nicknames, et cetera.

Look at the broader perspective. How people change by morphing their life to the social engineering intergalactic world called the internet. How people change, because of the good looks of certain posers. Well, camera always makes people act, agree? How people react on some comments sent, either its a non-seducing type or vice versa. Take a good look at the vandalized bulletin boards, its a habitat for some too-socialized homo sapiens to litter around hate or chain texts.

I'm sorry, who am I going to marginalize?

People do change! People do something for his own good, just like the social networking sites. They are there to achieve certain targets. Cleaning the windows means cleaning both sides.



Am I stretching my mental capacity on this dull night for nothing?.
The answer is yes.
(No, you're not precise. The answer is, Yes because I was bored)




Lol. I love being myself invisible on Pidgin. Seeing everyone online, doing everyone's job. Observing. I love controlling rather than being controlled. Everyone knows the cons of that. I wanted to borak with Siti, but she's not online. Yeah, tonight she got an exam, Calculus I think. Aaahh, she's too intelligent not to agree she's not.

I don't know. I'm wearing 'the singlet' tonight. Maybe the choice of picking is narrowed to the only washed shirt I didn't wore for this cloth washing period.

Syuhada told me that I look better without my glasses on. Yeah, I tried removing the glasses and showcasing myself on the mirror. Yeah, I agree. But lol, no. I choose not to involve in a slightly different world based on perception.

Actually the friendster rants was for someone, which I strongly believe that he's not gonna read my rants. He's not that IT capable, resulting in an inquiry about 'blogs' being cricketed. I believe when he change, he can make a difference.



Na-Mg-Al-Si-P-S-Cl-Ar-K-Ca-Sc-Ti-V-Cr-Mn-Fe-Co-Ni-Cu-Zn-Ga-Ge-As-Se-Br-Kr

is my new Windows logon password. Im sick of people touching my private data, even a bit of that. Actually it sounds long, but its not that precise. And its very easy to remember. Funny that the mnemonics can make me remember all those silly chemistry jargons. I found it on wikipedia 2 years ago.






Lol. I was in a briefing with the team leader today. Early today. We talked, discuss, chatted. All the other participants were listening very closely, the atmosphere was centered to the team leader.

Then my phone rang, playing the Buddy-X song. It was LOUD.

Damn! I took the phone, canceled the call, and put the phone to the silent mode.

It was Caroline. I was embarrassed giler. Yealar, all the attention goes to the team leader, suddenly there's a loud music finding its path out from my pocket.



Until tonight, there were 5 misscalls. I don't answer anymore phone calls after that till this very moment. Don't ask me, I don't know who rang me.




Its 11pm already. I wonder where's Siti.

Anyone wandering why am I here on 11am?

I took a MC today. Actually the reason in the MC should be 'malas dan penat2 badan', but the doctor thankfully put 'sakit perut dan penat2 badan'. How I love democracy.

Oh yea, TMnet jsut announced that they will BLOCK, I repeat, BLOCK the port 25 of all TMnet's dynamic IP ranges. What does it mean?

It means, we cannot send email through our PC anymore! (with the SMTP server ofcoz). This this added evilness, TMnet has just become 110% evil. Thankfully they set up its own smtp proxy in response to protests which is building silently.

AAhhhh.. I should be completing the 'site' in these few days. Thanks to last night's designing, my body became stuff'd up ady..

Syuhada took a video of us yesterday, while resting in the meeting room using my phone. Ngehehe.. I plan to put it on Youtube, but, naaaaaaaah...

See! My name is on the internet!!! (whois server)

====

Registration Service Provided By: Exa Bytes Network Private Limited
Contact: domain@exabytes.com
Visit: http://www.exabytes.com

Domain name: ************.com

Registrant Contact:
slashstream.net
Ahmad Siddiq (MYSIDDIQ@GMAIL.COM)
+60.391325589
Fax: +60.391325589
71 Jalan Jaya Taman Jaya Bdr Tun Razak
Kuala Lumpur, Fed. Territory 56000
MY

Administrative Contact:
slashstream.net
Ahmad Siddiq (MYSIDDIQ@GMAIL.COM)
+60.391325589
Fax: +60.391325589
71 Jalan Jaya Taman Jaya Bdr Tun Razak
Kuala Lumpur, Fed. Territory 56000
MY

Technical Contact:
Exa Bytes Network Sdn Bhd
Exabytes Support (support@exabytes.com)
+1.6046308283
Fax: +1.6046308288
1-2-28 Mayang Mall, Jalan Mayang Pasir 1
Bayan Lepas, 11900
MY

Status: Locked

Name Servers:
NS101.MSCHOSTING.COM
NS102.MSCHOSTING.COM

Creation date: 24 Oct 2007 22:02:46
Expiration date: 24 Oct 2008 22:02:46
=-=-=-=
The data in this whois database is provided to you for information
purposes only, that is, to assist you in obtaining information about or
related to a domain name registration record. We make this information
available "as is," and do not guarantee its accuracy. By submitting a
whois query, you agree that you will use this data only for lawful
purposes and that, under no circumstances will you use this data to: (1)
enable high volume, automated, electronic processes that stress or load
this whois database system providing you this information; or (2) allow,
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Version 6.3 4/3/2002

=====

Hehe.. actually my phone number is 91325598. Saje taknak kasi org lain call.

:)

p/s: who those people who are wondering, this is not the whois of slashstream.net

I mean, should I blog today?

No right?

Officially woke up at 9.00am. While visibility is still unforecastable, I glanced at the ceiling while thinking what should I do today. Aaah, today is Sunday right? Time to rest right?

I smiled and get the hell of my body out from the bed. Switched on the PC, logged in. Lol, no email. No updates. What a boring day.

I went outside from my room. My mother was baring2 in front of the TV. All my other family members are still unknown. Sleeping, maybe. Yeala, lazy-bums family.

Oh! There's a nasi lemak at the meja makan. It was not a normal nasi lemak, it was a nasi lemak with TELUR GORENG. Haha. An added serendipity to my almost boring day. So, I quickly consumed the nasi lemak plus a shot of cold water.

I went back to my PC. Still nothing. Torrent was downloading in a very slow rate. I was looking very forward to watch the latest Naruto episode. Very, very forward. The Photoshop torrent is now at its 70%'s.

Aah, what a boring day.



---

I have nothing to do, that's why I wrote those.

---


Yesterday Siti told me an interesting, yet a taboo line. "You don't understand..". Ah yes, as memory recall, this line was broadcasted by Norli to me on other occasion. Oh yea by the way, Norli is one of my college friend. One of the most watched face in the college. One of the most adored, and finally turn as 'Alamak, dah berpunya ke' girl.

This Norli girl has her own group of friend. Aisyah and Zu, making them as a 3-pack team everywhere in the college. Dalam kelas pon, they will rise as a group. They sit together, lunch together, go tandas together, study together. I wonder what glue they used to made them so ultimately sticky to each other.

We became close friends by I think last 2 months ago while in the class of Ms. Ayunni. Technical English, sigh. I was forced to join they're group because the lecturer asked everyone to be in a 4-pack team to complete an assignment.

And it began. I started became close friend to them.

This Norli girl likes to tell her problems to me. Eh, no. These three girl likes to tell their problems to me. They adore the sense that they are heard by others.

Ok. back to the Norli girl. She is currently engaged with this guy for a very long period. She loves this guy, this guy loves her. They are planned to be married by March next year.

Lately, diorang ni asyik gaduh je. I duno why. Sampai ada satu masa ni Norli gave up, she gave back her fiancee the pertunangan ring. You know why? Because she discovered that her tunang DRINKS. Kantoi masa Deepavali. Biasalah, at that day, some indians celebrate by drinking.

She told this problem to me. I simply told her, if I got a fiacee walaupun she is awesomely cute, et cetera, tapi if she trespasses the boundary given by nature, she's no more than an uncontrollable human wearing a mask.

Then she said, "kau tak faham Siddiq.. I loved him". See? How love blinds. I glanced at her, smiled, and told her "Li, ni bkn masalah aku dah. Kalau ko nak still teruskan dgn dia, means you agree to take the risk of nothingness".

Sigh. That's why I hated girls. You fail at life, Genocyde.

http://www.youfail.org/


Meanwhile, Siti's problem is more more different.

:)






Lol. Nevermind.

Last night NHA gave me a website link to a super eerie.. site?. I can't stand anymuch longer after 2-3 scrolls. Bookmarked, and closed it immediately.

This morning I tried to visit the site again. Yeah, this time is more acceptable. I took a view on some of its masterpiece.

Aaahh.. I gave up at case No. 3. I feel like vomitting.

Anywayz,

I decided to participate in a camping trip by 'them' next week. It is projected to be super fun.

Can't wait~~ :)

0.7734

The favorite number to be typed in any analogue calculator. You'll see why.

I juz came back from the Blog forum. They were good speakers. One of them is a well known PAS upper management, one of them works as a website developer for Media Prima and one of them is a.. what? What I know is: he sell books xD. Thanks to this night, I am virtually a member of the Malaysian Friedrich-Naumann group.

Yeah. I came back and saw Kak Suraya, ita and my mom hanging in front of the TV watching some sort of TV3 drama. Ridiculous.

Girls.

I switched on the PCs, and the first thing I saw is a msg from siti.

ZZZZZZZZzzZzZZzzzz......

I'm tired.