12.56AM
yela.. bila difikirkan balik, i am now at the bottom of my expectations. this semester i was too concentrating on biology ONLY. i've decided to play with biology because of the lack of knowledge i had in myself. i'm spared with a very, very late timing for college. with all these personal problems and et cetera, most importantly:
bila difikirkan balik: i came here to find a path for my future, regardless of ANY obstacles.
last sunday i had a bedtime chat with bawi. gah, we talked, talked, talked and there's a point where we actually discuss about Adirah. i somehow actually agreed to talk to him about her. i told him about the chronology of our relationship, how i loved her so much, how i put almost all my hopes on her. then i realized that, although we debated about this for some 2-3 hours, i saw an impression that i didn't think of, the generalization of possibilities of someone to change.
after that... pandang2 luar.. pandang2 jalan.. termenung for some while.
- my parents: they are constantly adapting to each and every behavior we siblings display
- the house: has been renovated for a few times yet/so far
- my bike (sayang I): previously it sounds good, but it kept giving me headaches lately
- my PC (sayang II): too. it kept giving me headaches, from grub failures, HD failures, and my sayang get her upgrade aswell :)
- zikri: has been previously a disciplined student, but now displays a brutal impression to others.
- raihan: kept trying for new stuffs. i'm sure her old friends will agree that she has changed aswell
- kl: new developments, new highways, new accessbilities
- my handphone (primary): Nokia 2100 > Nokia 3200 > Nokia i-forgot-the-model > Samsung SGH-i320N > O2 XDA II > Sony Ericsson W300i > Sony Ericsson Z558i
- me: i don't see any significant changes i made/wanted to change so far.
i'm expecting that my personal problems should fade away just like that aswell, but no. it kept getting bigger and bigger. its like a bacteria infection to my inner life. i have no one to, at least, discuss and make me more relieved for some moments.
in anywhere, in any circumstances, i walk alone. yeah, people do tegur me, but that's just a single-line tegur. i do almost my things alone.
adirah's image is still my default phone boot-up image. i found absolutely no reason why should i throw the picture away, so did why should i keep the picture anyway.
my PC and my handphone are the only thing I am very close to right now. sigh.. materialistic keeps thing running though.
bila difikirkan balik:
SAKIT hati ni.. memang sakit hati ni
maybe its time to look into a narrower path of my life. maybe the solution obviously ada kat depan mata je, i just overlooked at it. maybe...
i was wrong?
2:17AM
Sunday, April 13, 2008
at
1:12 am
1:01 AM
my 30 minutes was spared for the journey home.
i just took my ever-needed bath. good god WTF had my parents do to the house? the 13 years old original red gate that came originally with the house @ that time was finally replaced with a better gate. the mid house was refurnished, with new tiles covering. the old almari was thrown away, giving more ample space to a new modern book rack from ikea. and finally, both the toilets were upgraded with more bathroom arsenals.
and i sense repainting. i realized some new tins of paint outside. upon inspection, my lil brother's room has begun reskinning.
ahhhhhh... its GOOD to have the internet back.
from last week onwards, there's a new homo sapiens that came into my life. lets say that she's mrs. xy. oh yea, there's a 'raihan' on her name too.
although she wanted to know more about me, but ultimately i'm comfortable with myself being me all along.
and oh yea, i HATED when in a point of life when we're doing something, we had to definitely stop what we're doing just because of an sms.
ok lets not discuss more about her.
talking about raihan, we haven't contact with each other for a quite some time. i just realized 10 mins ago in my pinkey-comm (celcom number) that she threw me an sms.
i hereby will share you some of my random pics.
This pic was snapped several days ago with my desktop on the left, followed by my laptop and meor's lappie. meor's laptop was going through a reformatting. notice my pinkey-comm on my desktop.
last Monday while i was jungle-trekking, we was astonished to discover a new species in the wild. we called it: pacat ninja.
notice the blood inside the socks. now think of the possibility of them going inside the tight socks. i can't even find a way to remove them except removing all my shoes altogether. must've been a new ninja skill they've acquired during all these civilizations.
and one of them managed to suck my blood from OUTSIDE FROM MY SOCKS. now that's real ninja.
here are the aftermath of the battle. good god even today my feets are still riddled with holes of revelations.
the BEST katil of all time. i was the only one people in the house who owns a bantal peluk xD
Robocon 2008 @ UKM. The final match between MMU and UTeM. UTeM has a sneaky keji busuk hati pendengki strategy of having a blocker in their team, while others think of a faster and better robot, they've exploited a sense of humor by leaving other team speechless by simply blocking a channel. and the blocker was slow, that was the main point of laughter. other team was like, rushing to pick up he balls but they were like, slowly drift to the opponents' side and simply block them while maintaining the cool factor.
pic: announcing MMU melaka as the malaysia robocon winner in 9... 8... 7...
and i managed to take a panoramic view of the venue. click on the image to see the full view. i made it with my Z558i (exif data included)
this is what we call as a pluck on the nose by a playar.. ngehehehehe
my old casing. oh well, i had to threw it all away as i don't have any space for it in my room left. damn how i loved the casing so much.
to build this i had to do some engineering calculations first. a 300mm diam (12") pengayak tepung that closely approximates a shallow parabola. its mesh hole (~5mm) are well under the min .1 wavelength at 2.4GHz (1 wave = 125mm)
diam 300mm (D) with 60mm depth (c to centre)
f = D2 / 16(c)
and so on...
equals 30dB gain = :)
i loved how the feeling where i was ready to learn and realized that no one in the lab without any notice.
last week, i had a very terrible fever. i had to retreat to my home after subuh only to find that my body is in grief danger ahead. most importantly, before that i had the worst dream i've ever encounter, i was in a hospital and i was dying left and right of me stood my family members. it was awful. before i left the hostel, i sent a ':)' sms to her (whoever who perasan) in case something really bad happens to me.
gaaah
3:28 AM
my 30 minutes was spared for the journey home.
i just took my ever-needed bath. good god WTF had my parents do to the house? the 13 years old original red gate that came originally with the house @ that time was finally replaced with a better gate. the mid house was refurnished, with new tiles covering. the old almari was thrown away, giving more ample space to a new modern book rack from ikea. and finally, both the toilets were upgraded with more bathroom arsenals.
and i sense repainting. i realized some new tins of paint outside. upon inspection, my lil brother's room has begun reskinning.
ahhhhhh... its GOOD to have the internet back.
from last week onwards, there's a new homo sapiens that came into my life. lets say that she's mrs. xy. oh yea, there's a 'raihan' on her name too.
although she wanted to know more about me, but ultimately i'm comfortable with myself being me all along.
and oh yea, i HATED when in a point of life when we're doing something, we had to definitely stop what we're doing just because of an sms.
ok lets not discuss more about her.
talking about raihan, we haven't contact with each other for a quite some time. i just realized 10 mins ago in my pinkey-comm (celcom number) that she threw me an sms.
i hereby will share you some of my random pics.
This pic was snapped several days ago with my desktop on the left, followed by my laptop and meor's lappie. meor's laptop was going through a reformatting. notice my pinkey-comm on my desktop.
last Monday while i was jungle-trekking, we was astonished to discover a new species in the wild. we called it: pacat ninja.
notice the blood inside the socks. now think of the possibility of them going inside the tight socks. i can't even find a way to remove them except removing all my shoes altogether. must've been a new ninja skill they've acquired during all these civilizations.
and one of them managed to suck my blood from OUTSIDE FROM MY SOCKS. now that's real ninja.
here are the aftermath of the battle. good god even today my feets are still riddled with holes of revelations.
the BEST katil of all time. i was the only one people in the house who owns a bantal peluk xD
Robocon 2008 @ UKM. The final match between MMU and UTeM. UTeM has a sneaky keji busuk hati pendengki strategy of having a blocker in their team, while others think of a faster and better robot, they've exploited a sense of humor by leaving other team speechless by simply blocking a channel. and the blocker was slow, that was the main point of laughter. other team was like, rushing to pick up he balls but they were like, slowly drift to the opponents' side and simply block them while maintaining the cool factor.
pic: announcing MMU melaka as the malaysia robocon winner in 9... 8... 7...
and i managed to take a panoramic view of the venue. click on the image to see the full view. i made it with my Z558i (exif data included)
this is what we call as a pluck on the nose by a playar.. ngehehehehe
my old casing. oh well, i had to threw it all away as i don't have any space for it in my room left. damn how i loved the casing so much.
to build this i had to do some engineering calculations first. a 300mm diam (12") pengayak tepung that closely approximates a shallow parabola. its mesh hole (~5mm) are well under the min .1 wavelength at 2.4GHz (1 wave = 125mm)
diam 300mm (D) with 60mm depth (c to centre)
f = D2 / 16(c)
and so on...
equals 30dB gain = :)
i loved how the feeling where i was ready to learn and realized that no one in the lab without any notice.
last week, i had a very terrible fever. i had to retreat to my home after subuh only to find that my body is in grief danger ahead. most importantly, before that i had the worst dream i've ever encounter, i was in a hospital and i was dying left and right of me stood my family members. it was awful. before i left the hostel, i sent a ':)' sms to her (whoever who perasan) in case something really bad happens to me.
gaaah
3:28 AM
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